Why Moms Get A Bum Rap

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In movies and TV shows, if a character experienced a bad childhood, many times it turns out that his or her mother was to blame. We all remember the domineering mother from Everybody Loves Raymond, and who can forget Mrs. Bates in Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho? Mothers often get a bum rap in the media, and in real life. But, we can’t assume that mom is the source of all problems!

Sad to say, moms are easy to blame. Let’s say you’re a child, you’re upset, and you need to vent. Chances are, you’ll blame someone you’re close to, and who isn’t going to turn on you. It’s too risky to get mad at a person you don’t see very often. You might end up alienating them. But since mom, in most cases, is a constant presence in the home, she’s not about to cut you out of her life.

Kids usually don’t realize that motherhood can be a thankless job. Maybe some moms cook, clean, and drive the kids around for the sheer bliss of it, but in most cases, they do it because the work isn’t going to do itself!

Kids may assume it’s mom’s duty to cover certain tasks – but for how long? For example, my young son, Matt, likes it when I make toast for him. One day, I wasn’t feeling well, so I said he could make his own toast. At first, he insisted that the task was beyond him. But, I assured him that a boy his age was fully capable of making toast, and soon the deed was done.

It can be difficult for a child to see mom as a whole person. This year, for Mother’s Day, I encourage you to think of mom in a different light. Think of her as an individual with her own hopes and dreams. She might have interests you don’t know about, and sharing those interests could strengthen the bond between the two of you.

If you have problems seeing eye-to-eye with mom, just remember: you’re both adults now, capable of working out past issues. Sometimes, it might be best to consult a professional like myself, who can talk with you about the difficulties in your mother/child relationship. As a strength-based therapist, I have more than 30 years of experience helping people to navigate the problems in their lives. I can help you to improve communications with mom … or dad! Like I said, we can’t assume that all problems spring from mom!

If you’re interested in counseling, please call (563) 213-5100 for a free 15-minute phone consultation. Also, you can visit quadcitiescounseling.com or email info@quadcitiescounseling.com for more information.

 

Author: Denise Aiden

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