When Your Relationship Takes A Turn

Denise-Aden-PhotoAs you read the headline above, you may wonder, “Does she mean a turn for the worse…?” Actually, I mean a turn for the different. Different doesn’t necessarily mean the situation has become worse. But because it’s not what you’re used to, it can certainly seem worse to you.

For example, your significant other may develop interests that don’t appeal to you. He or she may start spending more time with others, and you have no wish to join that group. Or, his or her sexual orientation may change. Many different factors can also bring about change.

Other types of relationships in your life may change as well. One example would be a relationship with your workplace, if you learned you may be laid off. Another possibility would be your relationship with your body, if you developed a health condition that you found difficult to handle. The list goes on!

If these or other relationship changes occur, the first thing you need to do is give yourself time to grieve. What you thought would be a forever thing has revealed itself to be more temporary than you realized. You have to accept the reality of the situation and own your grief. Until you own it, you can’t do anything about it – and that includes letting go of it.

This is your loss, your sadness, and your pain. Can you fix it? Possibly. If you can’t fix it, can you at least make it better? One thing’s for sure: it won’t get any better if you just ignore it.

Depending on the nature of the change, there are many things you can do. Learn more about the problem at hand. Talk to friends and advisers and see what resources are available to help you. Who knows, maybe you can make room for the problem in your life – accommodate this surprise guest, even though it was not initially welcome.

For example, if your workplace cuts your hours in half, maybe you can find another half-time job to fill your workweek. You might enjoy splitting your time between two workplaces. The second job may even be more fun than the first one.

It can be difficult, facing major, unexpected changes. But, you don’t have to face these concerns alone. As a strength-based therapist, I have more than 30 years of experience helping people to navigate the problems in their lives. I can help you to develop stronger coping mechanisms to deal with the changes in your life.

If you’re interested in counseling, please call (563) 213-5100 for a free 15-minute phone consultation. Also, you can visit quadcitiescounseling.com or email info@quadcitiescounseling.com for more information.

BIO: Denise Aden received her Masters in Social Work from Boston College and graduated magna cum laude with a Bachelor’s in Speech Communication from Drake University. She is a Licensed Independent Social Worker in the State of lowa.

Author: Denise Aiden

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